Another Reason Why The NFL Is Better Than The NBA

After months of waiting and anxious anticipation, the new NBA franchise in Oklahoma City has a team nickname!

Ok, maybe that's going a little too far. Alright, a lot too far.

Nevertheless, people in the great state of Oklahoma are rejoicing as their new franchise has been christened the OKC Thunder.

The Thunder? This is what was offered? Really?

What is this, the NHL? the (W)NBA?

Granted, the NBA already had a couple franchises (Utah, Miami and Orlando) that didn't have their names end in a pluralized (and phonetically pleasing) "S". That doesn't make it right nor does it make the average fan thrilled about their team.

There aren't too many rules to follow when it comes to naming a franchise: Make sure it's something either cool or intimidating and make sure it ends in an S. That's pretty much it.

OKC broke both those rules. Resoundingly.

Only the Minnesota Wild destroyed the rules more fervently, but they are a hockey team so they don't count.

Oklahoma City had a bunch of cool names they could have rolled with: The Barons, the Outlaws, the Barnstormers, the Bombers (culturally insensitive, I know, but it's surprisingly fitting), the Rebels, the Stallions. The possibilities are endless.

Yet they go with the Thunder?

Are you serious?

The reason why I have this titled the way I do (and why it's relevant to an NFL blog) is because no team in the NFL would have egregiously broken the Naming Rules like the OKC NBA franchise has. If you take a look at the past couple of expansion/relocated franchises with name changes, they stand as follows: Baltimore Ravens, Houston Texans, Tennessee Titans, Jacksonville Jaguars, Carolina Panthers, Seattle Seahawks, New Orleans Saints, Atlanta Falcons and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Indianapolis, St. Louis and Arizona don't count because they didn't change names, only locations.

Take a long look at those lists of names. The Ravens, while not necessarily geographically relevant, is a ridiculously cool name for a football franchise and reminds people of the Edgar Allen Poe piece, which is never a bad thing. The Texans aren't really original but at least it makes sense. The Titans is another solid name and it's alliterative, which I'm always a fan of. Same thing with Jacksonville and Seattle, though the Jaguar is a badass cat while the Seahawk . . . well, leaves a little something to be desired. The Saints are just ironic, being in New Orleans and all (think Bourbon Street and Girls Gone Wild). The Panthers, like the Jaguars, is just an intimidating name and flows nicely. This leaves the Tampa Bay Buccaneers which is one of the coolest nicknames in all of sports, let alone the NFL. It's geographically relevant (pirates and ransackers alike purged the Gulf over the course of history), it's menacing (as pirates were badass mofos) and it's just a cool nickname for a football team.

What do all these names have in common? THEY ALL END IN THE FUCKING LETTER "S"!

How hard is that to accomplish? A team nickname makes more sense when it ends in S because it's a fucking team. With multiple players. Coaches. Interns. Water Boys. Fans. You get the feeling of community when you say, "I am a Ravens fan" or "The Colts sure look good this season."

What does an OKC fan say?

"Boys, let me tell you, I don't know how you feel, but the Thunder are gonna be great this year."

"I am honored to be a Thunder fan."

You know when this will sound good?

"In other news, (insert player here), a member of the Oklahoma City Thunder, was arrested today for driving under the influence."

So I'm being a little facetious. Be that as it may, I only ask that teams think a little more before they give a professional franchise such a cheesy ass name.

Shame on you, Clay Bennett. You steal the Sonics from Seattle and don't even have the decency to use a name fitting of your reputation (like Baron or Outlaw). Count me disappointed.

That is all.

(Make sure you come back later tonight for the Redskins/Giants diary, full of sparkling commentary from yours truly. See you then.)